For mothers, especially new mothers navigating the postpartum period, the “Call of the Void” can present as intrusive thoughts related to the well-being of their newborn or themselves. These thoughts might appear as sudden, unwelcome urges that are deeply unsettling and can provoke significant anxiety.
These thoughts can be random and highly intrusive for a brief moment. It’s essential to understand that what we think does not equal our reality and our thoughts do not represent our desires. If you have an intrusive picture in your head of you dropping the baby that doesn’t mean that you will or that you have a desire to do that. There are different scenarios where moms typically experience ‘call of the void’:
- Concerns about the baby (it will suffocate while asleep, I will drop it…)
- Self-harm (thoughts about engaging in risky behaviors that could result in harming oneself – this reflects feelings of anxiety and emotional exhaustion)
- Existential thoughts – fearing your capability of being a mom/ brief unwelcomed thought questioning the purpose of being a parent
What to do about them?
First and foremost, stay in the moment and acknowledge that those thoughts are cycling in your mind. Name them as intrusive and unwelcomed. Please do not be hard on yourself and accept them. When you are experiencing them, be present – feel your body moving, your eyes observing, your nose smelling… This will give you a realization check – you are not in real danger, as they are just thoughts. However, do not judge your thoughts too, accept them and let them pass.
A good strategy that Cognitive Behavioural Therapists use is reframing those thoughts and reshaping them into productive ones. For example replace negative or fear-inducing thoughts with positive affirmations, reinforcing the reality that you are a caring and capable mother.
Lastly, I want to share that the Call of the void can be present at any time in your life, and it’s mainly induced by anxiety and fear of losing something. The name itself comes from the French saying ‘l’appel du vide‘. Jean-Paul Sartre refers to the situation as the “vertigo of possibility”, where human freedom of choice comes to face extreme existential thoughts. Keep in mind that his phenomenon is still underresearched and many theories exist. Your main takeaway should be that you are not alone, and your thoughts do not define you!!!
Learn more about intrusive thoughts from 2 episodes of our Podcast ‘The Colours of Parenthood’!
References:
Le, T. T. (2023). Call of the void: the attraction of ultimate absurdity.